A bloke asked the group:
“Would you take a $30k pay cut if it meant you were home every night instead of working away?”
His girlfriend wants him to quit FIFO because she does not believe their relationship will last if he keeps doing it. He is worried about the other side of that decision. She does not work, they are used to his FIFO wage, and losing $30,000 a year could put real pressure on the household.
She says she would rather have him home and happier than have the extra money.
More than 900 comments followed, from workers who had taken the pay cut to those who reckoned a better roster was the answer.
“You Can’t Buy Time Back”
The strongest emotion came from blokes who had already left mining, FIFO or punishing work hours.
One father said he dropped about $50,000 a year to leave the mines because no amount of money could replace seeing his children grow up. He said he did not regret it. Another member said he took a pay cut of roughly $1,000 a week to be home with his family and never looked back.
Others described earning big money but being too exhausted to enjoy the little time they had at home. One bloke said that after working more than 70 hours a week, he was basically a zombie when he walked through the door. He later moved into a normal daytime job and accepted a much smaller pay packet.
“Time and memories don’t come back.”
For these blokes, the lost income was worth it. That does not mean every FIFO worker should resign.
A payslip is easy to measure. Missed dinners, birthdays, ordinary nights on the couch and a partner feeling alone are harder to put into a spreadsheet. They still count.
But the Sacrifice Cannot Be One-Sided
This was the biggest pushback in the comments: if she wants him home, what is she prepared to change?
A large number of members asked why the girlfriend was not working. Some put it badly, but the useful point underneath the anger was fair. If the household loses $30,000, the couple has three basic choices: earn some of it elsewhere, spend less, or do a bit of both.
“If she can get a small part-time job where she can earn the 30k, then everyone’s happy.”
Real life may not be that simple. The original post did not explain whether she was caring for children, dealing with health issues, studying or unable to work for another reason. It would be unfair to fill in those blanks.
Still, her request cannot stop at “come home.” If he gives up income for the relationship, she needs to be part of the financial answer. That might mean paid work. It might mean giving up parts of the FIFO lifestyle. It might mean a smaller home, fewer toys, less travel or a much tighter weekly budget.
Wanting more time together is reasonable. Expecting one person to carry every consequence is not.
She Has Told Him the Relationship Is in Trouble
Some commenters treated her words as a threat. Others saw something more useful: she had told him the relationship was in trouble before it was too late.
One member wrote:
“If your partner’s saying the relationship isn’t going to last without changes, you best listen.”
Listening does not mean handing in a resignation the next morning. It means accepting that the current setup is not working for at least one person in the relationship.
Arguing over whether her demand is fair will not resolve the distance, loneliness or pressure behind it. He needs to understand what she wants to change before they can work out whether quitting would help.
FIFO Is Not One Lifestyle
A few workers pushed back hard on the idea that FIFO automatically means less family time.
One member on a two-weeks-on, two-weeks-off roster said the time away is difficult, but he then gets two full weeks at home. Plenty of local workers lose five days out of every seven to the job, then add commuting, errands and recovery on top.
Another bloke on an eight-days-on, six-days-off roster said he gets more proper time with his partner during his break than he did when working in town.
That is an important counterpoint. A local job is not automatically a family-friendly job. It could mean a lower wage, long days, a two-hour commute and less useful time at home.
The couple should not compare “FIFO” with an imaginary perfect life. They need to compare his current roster with a real alternative: actual hours, actual travel, actual take-home pay and actual time together.
Test the Pay Cut Before Taking It
One member suggested an honest, “math-based” conversation: spell out what life looks like on normal wages, then make the decision together.
| Question to Answer Together | What It Reveals |
|---|---|
| What exactly is FIFO doing to the relationship? | Whether the real issue is the roster, poor communication, loneliness, missed family life or something deeper. |
| What would the $30,000 cut change after tax and work costs? | The real household gap, rather than the scary headline number alone. |
| What is each partner willing to give up or take on? | Whether the sacrifice is genuinely shared. |
| Can they test the lower income first? | Whether the new budget works before he gives up the current job. |
| Is there a middle option? | A better roster, a local role, fewer swings, a transfer or a planned exit after building savings. |
| When will they review the decision? | A clear point to check whether the change has improved both the relationship and home life. |
One commenter suggested living on the lower amount for a few months and banking the difference. That is a smart pressure test. If the household cannot make the trial budget work while the higher wage is still coming in, quitting without another plan could replace relationship stress with money stress.
Find a Job They Can Both Live With
He has good reason to look for a change. His partner has said the current arrangement is putting their relationship at risk. But he needs a realistic alternative, and she needs to help work out how they would live on less.
That could mean she finds work if she can, they reduce their spending, or he lines up a local job before leaving. A better roster might be enough. If coming home is the plan, agreeing on a savings target and an exit date gives them something concrete to work towards.
Based on the original post and supplied comment screenshots. Member experiences are quoted anonymously or paraphrased; the available comments do not represent the full thread.