So, you're selling something online, and you've encountered those cheeky low ballers who think they can score a bargain at your expense? Well, fear not, because we've got your back. Let's chat about some hilarious ways to deal with these bottom-feeders while maintaining your sanity and having a good laugh. Let's dive in, shall we?
First of all, if The Castle taught us anything is Australian to throw out of lowball offers to get yourself a bargain so you can't be too mad when someones trying to score a bargain - don't ask, don't get and all that. Don't lie, we've all done it.
The wisest thing to do is leave them on read & forget about it, but if they are being extra pesky here are a few things you can do to mess with their weekend plans:
A classic is to go along with the sale, but when it comes to a pick up send them to the following places (bonus points for making them go through tolls):
- Spec Savers because they clearly cant read.
- The brothels so they can get f*%ked.
- The bank so they can get a loan for the rest of the money that’s missing from their offer.
- A comedy clubs because their offer is a joke.
- The department of transport because they clearly like wasting time.
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Send them to your neighbours house, then watch it unfold. When he texts you to say it was wrong house, tell him to go back as it was your brother and you forgot to tell him... watch him go back for another serve.
If he's being a pain, take his mobile number and create a Gumtree advert looking for new homes for free Golden Retriever puppies - we promise it'll blow his phone up.
Accept the offer, but tell them only if they pay in $5 notes. When they are ready to do the pick up let them know it's been sold to someone else.
Let them know "That'll do or the deposit, when can you do the rest?"
A little game to play is to arrange a meet up to do the deal, and see how many times you can tell them you're "5 minutes away" before they catch on.
Head over to the Blokes Advice Facebook Group - it's 100% male, and a private group so brace yourself for some old fashion banter, laughs, and the help a fellow bloke out from time to time.